How to take rejection
Rejection is an almost unavoidable aspect of being human.
It's called the sting of rejection because that's exactly what it feels like: You reach out to pluck a promising "bloom" such as a new love interestjob opportunityor friendship only to receive a surprising and upsetting brush-off that feels like an attack.
Rejection and how to handle it
In one studyit was found that the brain regions that support the sensory components of physical pain also have a hand in processing social pain such as an unwanted breakup, or being turned down for a date. In this particular study, participants who had recently experienced an unwanted breakup were shown photos of their ex partners ouch!
The result: some of the same regions of the brain that light up for physical pain also lit up for images that induced social pain. So, when we say, it hurts, we really mean it! Being rejected actually hurts!
Once again, chemistry is tricky. Matching up with just the right person, at just the right time, is just plain hard. It requires trial and error.
Turning someone down for a date, or breaking off a relationship, are not easy things to do. So, when someone turns you down, try to meet them with compassion. This moment of rejection is difficult for both of you, and the best way to grapple with your own hurt feelings is to choose to be kind, to be understanding, and to be graceful and dignified.
This is a chance to choose to be the best version of yourself. The best thing you can do here, for you and for the other person, is to say that you understand, that it was worth a shot, and that you wish them well.
The more easily we offer compassion to others, the more easily we can offer compassion to ourselves. So, even when it hurts, try not to think about who deserves the blame for the way you feel. It can be tricky to put distance in between you and the object of your unrequited affections, especially if the person is a friend or someone you see often.
But distance may be just the thing you need right now, or else you may find it difficult to get your mind off the painful episode. Right now, your mental and emotional well-being are your one priority. You need to get out of your head.
Throw yourself into your passions instead. Get out and exercise however you prefer.
Learn a new skill. Pick up a new hobby. Catch up on work. Catch up with old friends. When, in blue times like these, we busy ourselves with our hobbies and self-development, not only do we distract ourselves from that blueness, but we can also build ourselves up, grow in our own identities, and boost our self-esteem. We are hardwired to fear rejection.
Dealing with rejection
Instead of letting this one romantic rejection build into that natural fear we all have, try to use this as an opportunity to grow, and to find your courage. Tomorrow is still on its way. Choose to let this make you braver instead of more discouraged. Try saying yes to all the social invitations that come your way for a while, and get back out there. To find the people we really click with, we need to keep at it, keep looking, and keep introducing ourselves.
It’s not you, it’s me: 6 ways to take romantic rejection in stride
BeWell. Be kind Turning someone down for a date, or breaking off a relationship, are not easy things to do. Distance is good It can be tricky to put distance in between you and the object of your unrequited affections, especially if the person is a friend or someone you see often. Keep Looking We are hardwired to fear rejection. We want to hear your stories.
Allow yourself time to process your hurt feelings.
How have you used romantic rejections to grow? How do you cope with rejection?
For more of our thoughts on heartbreak and breakups, go here. And for even more thoughts on pulling yourself out of the romantic blues, check out this article from Vox. If you or someone you know is having a difficult time and would like to talk to someone about it, there are people who want to help.
Here's how to deal with rejection in a healthy way, according to psychologists
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